The top of Andrei Kirilenko’s head is not a hairstyle, but a geological event. The lanky forward Utah Jazz begins each match with blonde hair laid in a style combining a giant aircraft carrier and a mohawk. As the game progresses, it creates the feeling that the hair roots are moving closer to the top, like tectonic plates forming jagged mountain ranges.
Commenting on the hairstyles of a basketball team is exactly what your girlfriend, an aggressive hater of sports, does in order to win TV from you and watch the series Grey's Anatomy. And this time - only this time - she seems to be right. Together with penalties, rebounds and team defense, this playoff series can come down to hair.
Whether you are getting a job, going on an important date, or getting ready for the first home game of a series of seven matches, nothing enhances a person’s confidence like a new hairstyle. It is no coincidence that the Golden State has much more interesting heads than the dull-haired Dallas Mavericks - starting with the galactic spirals of Don Nelson's gray hair and including Andris Biedrinsh's curls inspired by Heath Meiser *, which make me think like a centerpiece here it will explode.
“Everything that revolves around your image and makes you feel better gives confidence,” says Nikas Nikas, San Francisco’s most fashionable hairdresser, taking a break between clients at 77 Maiden Lane Spa & Salon. “I think hairstyles are very important for both women and men. ”
The Warriors in the semifinal series of the Western Conference may have the most fantastic set of goals in team history. But they have a serious battle with Jazz, a team in which there are enough eyebrows, neatly trimmed goatee beards and not subject to the laws of gravity of volcanic hair explosions to form two male groups.
Warriors and Jazz come together in the battle of the century, and every hair is important. Below is a head-to-head comparison of several key players of each team, followed by a Nikas intelligence report, which should bring some relief to the “warrior” fans.
Obviously, Matt Barnes should return the Iroquois, Baron Davis should definitely keep his beard, and Warriors fans need to forget about Charles Barkley and start teasing Carlos Boozer about his eyebrows. But, with some proper use of the perfect product, Golden State wins the series in six matches.
Player: Andris Biedrins
Team: Golden State Warriors
Possible influences: Heath Miser *, Lisa Simpson (above)
Description: At the beginning of the match, Biedrins hair is neatly combed on the sides. But by the end of the first quarter, when sweat flows, the hair rises into small sharp triangles on the crown. As the game progresses, they gradually smooth themselves back, as if Andris was rushing to the match in a convertible.
Opinion of Nikas Nikas: “This is good. I like. Very catchy. There is a punk element in it, as if saying: “Watch out!” Something like the style of Billy Idol, but not white. ”
Player: Matt Barnes
Team: Golden State Warriors
Possible influences: Maddox Jolie-Pitt * (pictured), Chuck Liddell *.
Description: After losing a bet last month, the hardworking reservist Barnes came to a meeting with Dallas, trimmed with a “mohawk”. Since then, he allowed the hair to grow from the sides, but at the top it is still longer. His signature facial hair, antennae a la El DeBarge *, remained unchanged.
Opinion of Nikas Nikas: “He has a classic square jaw. With guys of this type, like Brad Pitt, it’s impossible to make a mistake - the more original their hairstyle, the better they look. It has an element of unshaven in combination with tattoos. Iroquois definitely works for him. ”
Player: Baron Davis
Team: Golden State Warriors
Possible influences: James A. Garfield * (pictured), Shel Silverstein *, Merlin Olsen * since the Little House on the Prairie.
Description: Since point guard Davis took on a major leadership role this year, his beard has become familiar. During the season, sometimes he allowed her to grow to half the size of Lincoln’s hanging from her chin, but in the playoffs she kept her neat.
Opinion of Nikas Nikas: “When people talk about the Warriors, I remember Baron Davis and his beard. I think she definitely works for the image. Beards are in fashion now, more than goatee beards. Goatee beards are outdated, and the coolest thing is that he has a real, full beard. It looks very solid. "
Player: Andrey Kirilenko
Team: Utah Jazz
Possible influences: Morrissey * (pictured), Bert from Sesame Street, Christopher Reid from Kid 'n Play, David Lynch, Eraser Head * David Lynch.
Description: For the viewer who has just turned on the TV, Kirilenko looks like a giant blocking throws by an Australian parrot. The already incredibly long and thin forward adds another couple of inches of growth with the help of a ruffled and shaggy mop of hair, highlighted by the shaved sides of the head. They sharpen and stick together during the match, eventually becoming similar to the flames.
Opinion of Nikas Nikas: “I wonder what kind of hair care products does he use? It is a big problem in our life to make such things last for a long time ... Being a famous athlete, you can balance on the brink, go beyond, and he definitely does that ... The proportions are not maintained here. It is cut off and, as it were, comes back. The top is definitely longer than the front. ”
Player: Carlos Boozer
Team: Utah Jazz
Possible influences: Jesse Ventura *, "Cold" Steve Austin * (pictured), any wrestler or fan of James Bond.
Description: The most unstable player on the court looks like a stereotype of a Hollywood bad guy: a shaved head and a thick goatee. The starting point for the heavy forward is his neatly trimmed eyebrows, looking like two hasty caterpillars desperately trying to escape from the bridge of his nose.
Opinion of Nikas Nikas: “These eyebrows are waxed or plucked (or“ processed ”is the best word), and on the bald head with a certain amount of vegetation on the face portray a striking look. When you look directly at him, the only thing you see is his eyebrows, and it’s like: “Stand!” ... As for the shaved head, I like it. He's a classic tough guy. ”
Player: Mehmet Okur
Team: Utah Jazz
Possible influences: Fat Elvis *, Robert Blake * from the Baretta series, Laugh-In star Judy Carne, Law and Order star Chris Noth after spending the night in the park (pictured).
Description: Okur tried everything from long tanks to highlighted tips, but his hair is always messy. The central “trucker” from Turkey wears the style of a disheveled man. Perhaps he deliberately pays $ 400 for such a hairstyle, but maybe he does it himself in the dark by swallowing a can of Schlitz beer. Let the expert determine.
Opinion of Nikas Nikas: “From the point of view of the hairdresser, it is true, it can be assumed that he let go of his hair. Guys are characterized by such actions. They trim the hair, let it grow in six months, then trim it again. And now his hair looks as if it has reached the five-month mark. ”
Peter HARTLAUB (San Francisco Chronicle), translation by Nikolai TSYNKEVICH
PS Heath Miser - the character of the children's television show "A Year Without Santa Claus" (1974); Maddox Jolie-Pitt - son of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt; Chuck Liddell - champion in fights without rules; El DeBarge - American performer of soul and RNB; James A. Garfield - 20th President of the United States; Shel Silverstein - American poet, songwriter, musician, composer, animator and author of children's books; Merlin Olsen is an ex-American football player, television broadcaster and actor; Morrissey - English singer and composer; Eraserhead - the hero of the movie of the same name by David Lynch; Jesse Ventura - ex-wrestler, politician, actor, radio and television presenter, ex-Governor of Minnesota; Steve Austin - a professional wrestler; Fat Elvis is a famous copycat of Elvis Presley; Robert Blake is an actor.