In the mid-90s, a joke about theoretical physicists was extremely popular in certain circles. The meaning of the story is approximately as follows. They invited a biologist, statistician and physicist, so that everyone for 100 thousand dollars came up with a way to predict the outcome of the races. After a while, we checked the results. The biologist has developed a table by which, knowing the biological data of horses, you can determine the winner. The statistician drew a graph from which to predict the champion with the known outcomes of previous races. Most pleased the physicist’s answer: “I need another year of work and a million dollars, but for now I have built a model that allows me to predict the victory of a spherical horse in a vacuum.”
The meeting between Chelsea and Manchester United at Stamford Bridge fit into the idiom generated by this anecdote. It so happened that the long-awaited match became an abstract event that has no practical application - Manchester United won the championship in the last round. The principled game seemed to hang in time and space, revealing either an afterword to the champions' battles (something like a consolation ending), or a preface to the final of the FA Cup, which will take place at Wembley in ten days.
As if not wanting to artificially increase the degree of confrontation, Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho reconciled in absentia before the match. Until recently, their relationship reached almost class hatred, but now the tension has subsided, logically synchronizing with the disappearance of tournament intrigue. The Chelsea coach congratulated his rivals on well-deserved success and even apologized to Cristiano Ronaldo, whom he recently christened ignoramus and undergrowth. Mourinho also promised to welcome the guests with ritual respectful applause in the manner of an honorary escort in response to a similar gesture by an opponent two years ago. The Mankunians did not become mean and gloat, and congratulations were accepted. The pre-match picture was painted in idyllic tones.
But this is not true of the squad. Offside Chelsea have injured Drogba, Ballack, Shevchenko and Ricardo Carvalho and rested Cech, Lampard and both Cole. As a result, the young Scott Scott Sinclair became the companion of Salomon Kalu in the attack for the first time, Carlo Cudicini took the place at the gate, and Essien was once again sent to the center of defense as a scaffold. However, soon to the great joy of the Ghanaian it became clear that the executioners on this day together took the day off.
The starting combination of “Manchester United”, unlike the “blue”, can be considered optimal. For the backup team. At the level of the Premier League, English defender Kiron Lee and Chinese striker Dong Fanzhou noted their debuts, almost a debut was midfielder Chris Eagles. Alan Smith, at the behest of director Ferguson, again fell to play the non-core role of a defensive midfielder. O'Shea and Brown anchored in the center of defense. And only Gabriel Heinze on the left looked surprisingly familiar - apparently, Sir Alex had already run out of fantasy at this point. Under these conditions, the “honorary escort” performed by the “blue” looked approximately like a jacket with shorts.
It seems that those gathered at Stamford Bridge were somewhat shocked by the picture they presented, but out of delicacy they pretended not to notice the substitution of Drogba's super-confrontation - Cristiano Ronaldo with the equally intriguing duel Sinclair - Eagles. As for the vacuum, of course, everyone guessed in advance, but so that the horses would also be spherical ...
The match, both in the plot and in the surroundings, looked very much like a kind of anachronistic throne ceremony - in English stiff, saturated with traditions, but unbearably boring and unhurried. To which the first persons, as usual, chose to send deputies.
In the first half, the protocol provided for one shot on target and one skirmish. For the first event, Wright-Phillips was appointed responsible - at the very beginning the winger jumped to the gate in the center, but, seeing instead of van der Sarah Kushchak, he was confused and shot right into the Pole. In the middle of the 45-minute sluggish process revived Obi Mikel rough roll against Eagles. Not surprisingly, the Nigerian is still mastering English etiquette. Graham Poll did not show tact and gave a warning to the midfielder, and along with Gabriel Heinze, who was too active in trying to teach others good manners. At that moment Ferguson became nervous. Almost for real.
In general, Chelsea, of course, the whole match looked more thoroughly. After the break, it even came to aimed shots on goal, and by the end - even to dangerous moments. The closest to success was Salomon Kalu, but Kushchak, who took luck as an ally, could not beat.
The second half was brighter than others spent Graham Poll. The referee in such a match managed to show seven yellow cards and did not assign a pretty obvious penalty for the demolition of Chris Eagles. The Mancunian, by the way, won the super duel against Sinclair, becoming the most prominent player in his team. The Chelsea forward also left a good impression and at first very actively sharpened the game on the left flank, where he found a worthy opponent in the person of Kiron Lee. The future heir to Harry Neville at the very end of the bout saved Manchester United from defeat, knocking the ball off the goal line after being hit by Israeli Ben Saar, another debutant.
And yet, the hero of the meeting was Poll. In the middle of the second half, a connoisseur and guardian of British traditions transplanted Mourinho, who violated the protocol, from the bench to the rostrum, and after a compensated two minutes later he gave a loud final whistle, waking the many asleep.
Ten days later, the new Wembley will be different. The emotional vacuum will disappear, giving way to the air of real passions and tension. The physical model will completely lose its anecdotal abstractness. The lucky ones will personally see the next series of confrontation, which is becoming legendary before their eyes.
CHELSEY - MANCHESTER UNITED - 0: 0
Chelsea: Cudicini, Paulo Ferreira, Terry, L. Diarra (Nuno Morais, 88), Bridge, Makelele, Obi Miquel (Joe Cole, 46), Essien, Sinclair (Saar, 54), Wright-Phillips, Kalu.
MANCHESTER UNITED: Kushchak, Heinze (Carrick, 65), Brown, Lee, O'Shea, Richardson, Fletcher, Eagles, Solskher, Smith, Dong Fangzhou (Rooney, 73).
Warnings: Obi Mikel (21), Heinze (21), Lee (46), Brown (49), L. Diarra (51), Essien (56), Eagles (58).
May 9. London. Stamford Bridge.
Judge: Graham Pull (Hertfordshire).