- Jora, what did you do again? What fly has bitten you? What did you get these it-technologies?
- What are you doing, Sereg? I'm really interested.
- Well, call some integrator to your office, or web-makers, they will tell you everything. Go to the exhibition, in the end, they are now - like dirt.
- Yes, I went, that's the thing. And again I think, I think, I think ...
- What are you thinking about?
- Yes, you know ... I still have the feeling that I am missing something in life, in business. After all, they are introducing it-technology, I am alone aside ... How do I explain, I don’t know ....
- What is the difference that everyone does? You have a wonderful business - production, oil and gas, real people, real tasks, interesting projects. When I come to visit you, my soul is resting. You have everything ... how to say ... real! Here, the right word!
- What is all then worn with these technologies? Where does this hype come from? Artificial intelligence, blockchain, machine learning, CRM, trackers, websites, portals, business applications, mobile applications, what else ... Do they have something real?
“What are you guys arguing about?” - resounded from behind a cheerful voice. - Can I participate?
- Marat, finally! - George cried happily. - I thought you would not come!
- Yes, I rolled up, sorry, I killed him all day for the exhibition. - answered Marat.
- What kind of exhibition? - Sergey asked briskly.
- “IT for Business 2018”, we had a stand there, and my fighters read reports. - with pride answered Marat. - We did a good job, five new contracts - mobile applications, websites, one ERP implementation.
- Bah! I also went to this exhibition for two days! Damn, and how did I not meet you there? - began to lament George.
- Seriously? You, old mastodon, was at the exhibition of it-technologies? And did not come to visit?
- So I did not see you there! Where have you been?
- Well, I was mainly in the negotiation room, my employees talked with visitors at the booth. Well, it's a pity of course ... Why did you forget something there?
- Yes, he again engaged in Samoyed. - answered, laughing, for George Sergey. - He worries about how his business would not be bent without it-technologies.
- Nobody will ever dump such a bison. - laughed Marat. - Although, you know, I recently remembered you at some talks. Still, I'm afraid you'll have to change, gosh. If before it was a fashionable toy, now you just risk not keeping up with the changes, and you can really remain without clients.
- Here, finally, a sensible man! Marat, come on, pour yourself and sit down, tell me what and how.
- Jora, can we do without holivar? - sighed Marat. - I have come to rest? So rarely get to the bath, so even with old friends.
- Marat, well, please. - George begged. - I trust you, you will not send me anything. Well I just ask. True, I do not know what holivar is.
- Holy war, holy war. - Sergey answered.
“Okay, sick, what is bothering you?” - Marat said in a fake tone.
- I think and think, what would it-technology to introduce? You know my factory, my customers, markets, products. Advise ...
- Is there a website? - Marat asked busily.
- There is. - answered George.
- So, where is the phone ... Oh, here, in the robe. Dictate the address.
George dictated the address of the site, Marat strenuously dug into the phone for several minutes.
- Well, my dear friend, what can I tell you - this is not a site, but a museum piece. Static pages, of which only ... So, one, two, three, ... five. Five pages? Jora, this is not funny.
- Why? And how much should it be? And, forgive me, I did not understand what is static there? I'll ask Fail why.
- So Fail did that? Does he still work for you? How old is he? I thought it was time for retirement. This is it you sawed the accounting system?
- He who else. I have one engineer. - George said a little guiltily.
- It's funny, I have not heard for a long time that engineers were called programmers. - Sergei intervened. - It somehow, I do not know, vintage sounds. Engineer ... How do you remember Cyrus Smith from Jules Verne's Mysterious Island? Well, that and in physics, and in botany, and in chemistry, and in mechanics. As Rene Descartes is direct.
- So, Serge, do not distract. - strictly said Marat. - Zhor, why is the catalog so scary? And why can not order anything from the site?
- Should it be possible? What for? - sincerely surprised George. - I’m not trading jeans, I have equipment.
- Customer new as your equipment will order? - Marat did not let up. - Here he finds, by some miracle, your site, and what? Call only by phone?
- Well, of course, but what about that? Always called. From the USA, Canada, Oman, Emirates, Argentina, Cuba - from everywhere call. - with pride listed George.
- Well, I do not know ... And no one asked why the site can not be ordered? - Marat asked incredulously.
- No, but how is that even possible, you should not order equipment through the Internet that is less than a million rubles? - Sergei intervened again. - You yourself think. Will you buy a car via the Internet? I'm not talking about pre-order, but about the deal.
“Okay, mastodons, we drove ...” Marat humbled himself. - What do you ask me then, if you know everything yourself? Enough, let's go to the steam room.
- Yes, wait, do not be offended. What, besides an online store, is nothing useful for it in IT technologies? - hurriedly spoke George. - What else can be improved on the site?
- At least, you need a chat. Well, you know, this window pops up below, like “ask your question”. And, although, again now you start talking about your Canada and Cuba, who call you by phone. - with a smile said Marat.
- Do not even mess, Jora. - Sergey started talking. - We also put this crap, there are some hipsters who write, they are not going to buy anything, only managers troll.
- Yes, I understood, I understood. - George barked his head. - Marat, what did you say about static?
- You have technology antediluvian, twenty years ago. - Marat said with a serious look. - Now sites are not doing that already.
- How are they doing? - George asked keenly.
- And most importantly - why? - Sergey continued to tease.
- Javascript, react, angular ... - began to list Marat.
- ... and many more buzzwords. Marat, to be honest, why? - Sergey did not let up.
- That the site was an application, not a set of texts from the booklet. That functionality was, useful both to the visitor, and business. So that behavior statistics could be made, the order could be made, samples conveniently based on the catalog, registration, personal account, and so on. - a little detached said Marat.
- What for, Marat, is this all for him? - raised his voice Sergey. “If he knows all his customers by name, all over the world?” And the products know him, again, all over the world? Who is there to do a selection of the catalog? So everyone knows: the punch broke - this is to Zhore. Broke the pump - to Zhore. Spider broke - to Zhore. It is necessary to electrical centrifugal line - to Zhore.
- Yes, I know what you're telling me. - Marat began to lose his temper. - I say, empty talk. Ida in the steam room, then swim in the pool, sit with a beer normally. What are you again with the work they stuck to me?
- Seryoga, let's you shut up better. - again rattled George. - I do not want to miss the opportunity to talk with Marat, then you won't pull him out to the meeting, he will fly away again on business.
“Okay, I'll try to keep quiet.” - Sergey said sarcastically. - Marat, I'm sorry.
- Marat, but I also heard about the promotion of sites at the exhibition, they said about some directors, what is this about? - asked George.
- You do not need, Jora. Especially with the promotion do not mess, there is no place you have to promote. You, apparently, the management team works well. - sincerely said Marat.
- And where are the managers? I understand that promotion helps sellers? - asked George.
- It helps, of course. Existence of its extend, if we are talking about B2B. - Laughing, answered Marat. - If you need to promote, you can disperse managers, and replace them with operators to receive orders. You do not need it, George, really, believe me. I myself am thinking of not engaging in promotion any more, I am tired of these disappointed negotiations after the projects. We will generate traffic, leads, and the client almost always remains unhappy.
- Why? - sincerely perplexed George.
- Because people come, a lot of them are outsiders, and those that can become customers, spit and leave. - continued Marat. - The business model is usually miserable, the products are not of high quality, the service is shit. Sense that we led the crowd? If the product is of high quality, the service is normal, you take off the headache for the client, they will come. Especially in your business, where sundress is so strong.
- This is yes, you can learn the quality from George. - Sergey could not resist. - I still wonder how he does it. Without all this trouble, like ISO standards, calling customers with this idiotic "rate the quality of the services provided", without a quality department.
- I have an OTC. - George said a little offended. - Two people, really, everything.
- Not a man, but an engineer. - raising his index finger up, pointedly said Sergey. - I was in your OTK, they are no less technologically advanced in production, and the products are no worse than designers.
- Yes, I know ... Listen, Seryoga, you seem to have promised to be silent, again distracting. - said George. - Marat, okay, God bless him, with the site. Maybe I implement ERP?
- Here it is the pipes, I can not be silent! - cried Sergei. - I gave twelve leams for two years for this ERP! And what's the use? Would kill all these integrators.
- Uh, easy. Kill me too? - smiled Marat. - Apparently, you just got your hands on it. What are you dissatisfied with again?
- Yes, how dissatisfied with what? You ask better than I am pleased! - Sergey was sincerely indignant. - What did they not promise me! And reduce costs, and raise profits, and reduce people!
- people cut? - George intervened. - So this, like, the first goal of automation? Is not it so? When Fail made the first version of the system, I cut the five guild economists. Then, when production planning started working, the PDO was reduced by half. Then there were more rate setters, accountants, data entry operators - well, when the machines were connected to the system.
- Forget it, Jora. - Sergey waved his hand. - Now it is not accepted, in general, no one talks about staff reductions.
“Well, in general, yes ...” said Marat uncertainly. - Somehow there is no talk about this, neither in negotiations nor in the criteria for the success of projects.
- Of course not, quite the contrary. - Sergey continued. “After the introduction, I added - come on, bend your fingers ... Three programmers, two testers, a CIO, a system administrator, some kind of architect, five accountants, two economists, a lot of equipment - scanners, some terminals, two new servers a million each. This is a plus for those twelve lams. And periodically, outsourcers are invited, because they themselves can not figure it out. Some updates, changes in legislation, ugh ...
- I’m saying, handles. - said with satisfaction Marat.
- You seem to be better off. - Sergey said sarcastically. - Himself a lot of customer costs reduced?
- You didn’t take me to "cut costs". - with a smile said Marat. - I clearly fulfill the requirements, and I keep the contractual relations, almost all ERP implementation projects are successful.
- So is my successful one! - Sergey was indignant. - You should have seen what a review rolled! Then another sign was persuaded, for a discount on additional licenses! My CIO then took part in the competition, the project of the year, it seems, and not the last place I took. I read reports, told how it became good here! Furious!
- You need a doctor, Serega. - smiled Marat. - Relax and enjoy. He himself got into it-technology, learn to benefit from them.
- That you said well - benefit to extract. - softened Sergey. - Do not use with benefit, and remove. As in a pile of shit candy look. My gold factory works this way - they will get a ton of rock, then three grams of gold from it, if they are lucky, they pick it up. And this is a good indicator.
- I did not mean this, not to extract, not to poke around, but to use it for the benefit of business. - Marat did not let up. - You just did not learn it, apparently. Well, not you, but your employees.
- Yeah, why did I just call for these integrators, if they dumped them out of the dump truck, and I must extract the benefits. - already much more calmly continued Sergey. - Even professional pickers hire. And listen to them every week - “Yes, yes, Sergey Anatolyevich, do not worry, be sure to dig out something! It can not be that in such a pile of shit there was not a single candy! Oh, we would have more people, and shovels will not interfere ... ".
- You listen, so we are all - not integrators, but a farm with cows that produces dung for you, unfortunate, vparivaet. - laughed Marat.
- Oh, you do not confuse! Manure is a useful thing by itself, there’s no need to look for anything in it! - in turn Sergey laughed. - And you dump a ton of shit, and convince me that there, inside, somewhere deep, there is a lot of tasty and healthy! And if I can't find it, then the fool himself. How are you usually there ... "Business was not ready", "I could not withstand the dynamics of changes", "Ossified management chose to work in the old manner", "New technologies are not for everyone."
- Guys, stop it! - with an uncertain smile spoke George. - Why quarrel over nonsense? Let's forget about ERP. In the end, my system copes normally, all the numbers are there, no one complains.
- We do not quarrel, Jora. - said Sergey. - Try with this genius of customer focus to quarrel. He himself still goes to all corporate negotiations. And you want - you can not, where you sit there, and you get down.
- Well, I hope it was a compliment. - laughed Marat.
- Of course, a compliment. - sincerely said Sergey. - I always put my managers as an example. So push customers what they don't need, only you know how.
- Damn, Seryoga, here you are echidna. - smiled Marat. - That's enough, let's go to the steam room.
- Marat, I'm sorry, let's have another five minutes, okay? - George did not let up. - Tell me about the blockchain and artificial intelligence?
- To listen again about how I get into my ass without soap? - sincerely laughed Marat. The rest supported him. - No, guys, let's go to the steam room. Beer is heated.